"Like, How You Are"

HOW MY SO-CALLED LIFE WORKS

by Matt Brown
December 23rd, 2002

I was completely unprepared for the sheer pleasure of rediscovering My So-Called Life over the past few weeks. With the help of my finally-arrived DVD boxed set, it has begun to occur to me that in the years since 1994, my definition of "great television" has dipped considerably; MSCL belongs to an entirely different echelon as that which I consider "great" today.

The series functions as well as it does due to a number of specific structures, themes, and references. Given the frenetic nature of its production and its premature cancellation, the degree to which the show holds up even today is nothing short of remarkable.

A Little Backstory

My So-Called Life was produced in three distinct spurts. The first was in early 1993, when the pilot was filmed. Claire Danes was 13 at the time, which is remarkable in and of itself. The pilot was not picked up by ABC, and sat on the shelf for close to a year.

In early 1994, ABC tentatively agreed to order an additional 8 episodes. These, which carry the series through "Other Peoples Mothers," were produced through June of 1994, a few months before the series would hit the air. (Interesting note: "Hallowe'en," which falls before "OPM" chronologically, was not filmed at this time.)

When the series began airing in the fall of 1994, ABC ordered another six, and then another four, episodes, rounding out the series at 19 full episodes including the pilot. In January of 1995, ABC decided not to order any additional episodes, and the series was formally cancelled in May 1995.

Prevailing Themes

My So-Called Life is a large-scale treatise on the adolescence of one character, Angela Chase, but also addresses a number of themes which recur frequently throughout the series' 19 episodes. These themes provide important connective tissue for the lives of the characters, tying them together in ways that, often, even they are unaware of.

1. Rejuvenation of Self

Symbolized early by nothing more complex than hair styling, the rejuvenation/revitalization/reinvestigation of self is an ongoing theme in MSCL. Angela's first significant act in the series is the dying of her hair, which she feels thrusts her into an entirely new personality. In the second episode, Patty follows suit, cutting her hair short, which makes an equally powerful - if substantively different - statement about her personality and where she'd like it to go.

But the hair is left behind before long. Throughout the series, the characters are in a constant state of self-analysis, questioning their current status and attempting to determine whether they should change into something else. What's interesting about this is the fact that the parents are in just such a state of flux as the kids, and that their fluctuation is apparently directly caused by the kids' changes - Angela changes so Patty must change, etc. In attempting to keep up with the wild mental states of the teenagers, Patty and Graham must learn to be equally flexible.

This theme is also explored extensively through the confusion of selves - people being mistaken for other people, people actively attempting to be other people. In "Betrayal," Angela and Rayanne, in effect, begin impersonating one another because of what they feel the other can be that they can't. In "Hallowe'en," Danielle vents her frustration at Angela by making an Angela costume and doing a dead-on impersonation of her older sister's whine.

2. Parents, both real and imagined

Parents are rife in the series, and all the characters are on an ongoing quest for parental models that they can respond to. Angela mentions early that Patty was adopted, and briefly flirted with finding her biological parents. Our later encounters with Chuck and Vivien Wood are informed by this early revelation, and her adoptive parents' frustrating personalities certainly demonstrate why Patty might have sought more stable parents elsewhere.

Patty and Graham's struggle with the grandparents (Graham, notably, does not have living parents) provides echoes for their struggles with Angela and Danielle, particularly in "Father Figures" and "Other People's Mothers," the two episodes which deal most directly with the inter-generational bonds of the various characters on the show.

Most of the characters have parents who appear in the series or are strongly referenced if not seen. We never see Brian's parents, but hear them often, and hear of them even more often than that - a kind of running gag about the bizarre personalities of Bernice and Bob Krakow. Rayanne's mother is compared and contrasted with Sharon's mother, just as the two once-and-future best friends of Angela are contrasted regularly in the halls of Liberty High. Jordan's father is never seen, but we know enough about him to know that eventually, Jordan had to toss a chair at him to secure some safety in the home.

Surrogate parents come and go in the series, and often offer the lure of a more exciting role model, yet - tellingly - these surrogates fail more often than they succeed. Mr. Racine demonstrates a perverse unwillingness to accept the parental role he, ironically, thrusts himself into. Like many other deadbeat fathers, he commits wholeheartedly to the "courtship" phase and then buggers off when the consequences of his actions become to large for him to handle. Amber, meanwhile, serves as a surrogate parent to Angela at times, while simultaneously failing in her actual parental duties to Rayanne, with near-fatal results in "Other People's Mothers." Principal Foster, while apparently fatherly and kindly at first (his early conversation with Brian in "Guns and Gossip,") in fact reveals himself to be an inflexible tyrant, a note which is played a handful more times on the series.

It is Rickie's journey that is probably the most significant. His biological parents are never referenced, and his adoptive parents - actually his aunt and uncle - are never seen. The direct impact of their actions is the series' strongest opening shot, as Rickie spits blood all over fresh snow at the beginning of "So-Called Angels." From here, Rickie seeks new parents, first finding a home with the Chases, and finally finding an even better parent and role model in Mr. Kotimski, who we imagine must have had an adolescence very similar to Rickie's.

Mr. Kotimski, in fact, is probably the series' only successful surrogate parent - and yet note that in terms of traditional American mores, he is the one person with whom American society would probably refuse to place Rickie. A gay man living a gay lifestyle, in a position of authority, taking in a runaway student struggling with his sexual identity, is dangerous territory for a prime-time television series.

3. Teen "Angst"

It is, ten years after the fact, probably the one aspect for which the series is most remembered: its dead-on portrayal of teen angst. MSCL may have been one of the few series in TV history to give teen angst a good name. The show's consistent preoccupation with the endless self-interest of adolescence is one of its hallmarks and founding strengths, yet the degree to which it is willing to show adolescent selfishness as dangerously self-defeating is daring and bold. It is, therefore, both a celebration and a condemnation of adolescent turmoil.

While most episodes are seen ostensibly from Angela's point of view (driving an easy subjective recognition on the part of adolescent viewers), what becomes clear as the viewership ages is the degree to which Patty and Graham - once seen as tyrants - are actually in the right most of the time. My So-Called Life is remarkably even-handed in presenting the subjectivities of the children and the adults, yet taken on the whole, the adults tend to win out. It can happen overtly (Angela returning home at the end of "Pilot" and apologizing to her mother) or covertly (the lack of parental supervision at Rayanne's house in the same episode, as predicted by Patty).

4. Secrets and Lies
There is frequently a wide gulf on the series between what people mean and what they say (as, of course, in life). Many of the episodes' prime conflicts arise out of a simple unwillingness to speak the truth. "Pressure" is the best example of this, where Angela spends most of the first half of the episode desperately attempting to find any legitimate reason not to have sex with Jordan, from any of the traditional authority figures (parent, doctor, teacher, etc.). Her unwillingness to come out and admit this, however, means that each of her efforts are misinterpreted, and those authority figures only push her further towards the unwanted act, rather than insulating her against it.

Notably, it is Sharon, in the same episode, who confronts Angela on this discrepancy. Sharon is the oldest friend, the one who knows her best, foreshadowing the rebirth of their relationship.

Brian is thematically paired with Angela throughout the series by the fact that they are the two characters who seem to have the most consistent difficulty expressing themselves honestly. In "Life of Brian," we discover that Brian analyzes and re-analyzes his understanding of the world to such an enormous degree (yet with such flawed tools of understanding) that he is basically incapable of interacting with people in a linear fashion. He is always six steps ahead or six behind, and his non-sequiters are more than just comic material. They are his deepest character challenge

It's uniquely rewarding that the only character who doesn't suffer the "secrets and lies" flaw is Jordan. It is tempting to suggest that this is because he is so remarkably dimwitted that he doesn't have the ability to filter his thoughts through artifice before they become words, but I tend to think slightly better of him. He is a simpleton, certainly, but he also stands for simplicity - note his mantra of "whatever happens, happens" and his general dislike for complications or set plans.

It's interesting, then, that by the final episode, Jordan has begun to pick up Angela's inability to express the truth, because their positions are now reversed and he is now longing for her. It is only in the final episode that Jordan begins to craft secrets and lies... and of course, it catches up with him in the end.

Structure

Beyond its prevailing themes, My So-Called Life is also built around a number of important structural elements which lead to some great storytelling in a number of episodes. These structures all form foundations for the show's interior story, and the way those stories are told.

1. Multi-Generational

One of the greatest hallmarks of the series is how it treats both the children and the parents in equal stead and with equal realism. This isn't a Muppet Babies -eye view of adult life; the grown-ups are fully-formed characters with their own tremendous flaws and challenges.

As such, MSCL isn't really a "family drama," as (surprisingly!) it isn't actually focused on the family itself, as a unit. Rather, the two generations follow parallel narratives, which only rarely intersect upon common events (Rayanne's overdose; Rickie's disappearance at Christmas). When these linkages occur, and the adults and children come together to solve a problem, we find ourselves at nexus points for the series as a whole - the critical events that further the relationships of all the characters, and form important touchstones for the ongoing plot.

Also, linked to this, is the use of "parallel lives." Often in the series, the two generations are bridged through seeming parallel events. Patty once had a friend like Rayanne, who also suffered an overdose. Graham was similar to Brian in high school, but also (somewhat) to Jordan. Patty must push Chuck "off his pedastal," at the same moment that Angela is doing the same to Graham.

2. Voiceovers

The authorship of each episode is stamped out by its narrative voice - Angela for 17 of the episodes, Brian for one, and Danielle (!) for another. One of the series' few narrative miscues occurs when Rayanne is not given voiceover priveleges for "On the Wagon," but perhaps this is to allow Angela the distance to critique Rayanne's behaviour in that episode's climax. Rayanne, certainly, lacks the introspection necessary at this point to evaluate her own actions with the same clarity as the other, more thoughtful characters. (Again, surprising that Danielle is, in many ways, more self-aware than Rayanne.)

Interesting, then, are the brief voiceovers for the whole cast at the beginning of "Resolutions," as they engage in the hoary new year's staple of figuring out what their big resolution is going to be. This is the only time the entire ensemble (even including, tellingly, Mr. Kotimski) appropriate direct authorial control for an episode, even if only for a moment.

Angela's voiceovers predominate, and the material is written in such wonderfully emotional dialogue that it's a small wonder that the series so specifically reached so many teenaged girls: this is the language of anti-disenfranchisement: longing to fight in, but rebelling anyway.

3. Two Words: Tino

Okay, not really as relevent as the stuff above, but every show needs its own running gag. The never-seen but often-mentioned character of Tino is probably my favourite. I've always hallucinated that in some distant seventh or eighth season of the show, Tino would finally appear, played by Al Pacino.

4. The Whole Arc

Although this was doubtless completely unintentional at the time, it remains impressive that the series is as thoughtfully plotted as it is. Given that most of the episodes were probably written on the hope that there would be a second season, the 19 episodes nonetheless hold up marvellously as a single, complete narrative.

The series even has a rough 3-act structure. Act I introduces all the characters and plays out all the initial confrontations, between the Pilot and "Why Jordan Can't Read," which also serves to foreshadow the major elements of the next two acts. Act II, from "Strangers in the House" to "Pressure," complicates matters for the principal characters and adds increased depth and shading to the supporting roles. And Act III, from "On the Wagon" through the end of the series, plays out the characters' fates - some tragic, some heroic - and even gives tantalizing clues to their ultimate destinies.

I've long maintained that the end of "In Dreams" is not a cliffhanger - that by considering the events of the past episodes, and what we know about the early lives of Patty and Graham (parallel lives, again), it isn't hard to figure out how things are going to turn out for all of the principal characters. The notable exception, again, is Rickie. Rickie is the one character without a foreshadowing model - he's on his own, and Wilson Cruz's appearance on Ally McBeal a few years later might just as well have been a continuation of the character - it's one of any number of directions his life could have taken.

5. Brian and Rickie

One of the most ingenious relationships in the series is the one between Brian and Rickie. It starts slowly in "The Zit," but develops strongly through subsequent episodes. The real treat of this relationship is that it ties the circle together, actually responding to Angela's early fears about people from disparate aspects of her life interacting with one another.

Also, given the series' fondness for female themes, the Brian/Rickie sequences have the advantage of addressing how adolescence functions in males - specifically, repressed males, the lower rungs of the social order. This is handled very well, in "The Zit," "Life of Brian" and "In Dreams Begin Responsibilities." These writers know more than just the lusts and confusions of the teenaged girl.

6. Fantasy

The series often follows a dreamlike track, presenting stream-of-consciousness montages for Angela blend seemlessly from reality to imagination to memory and back. This is used most effectively at the beginning of "Dancing in the Dark."

The series does, of course, venture into outright fantasy at two important points - on Hallowe'en, where Angela meets the "ghost" of Nickie Driscoll, and on Christmas, where Angela and Patty encounter another ghost, this one bearing wings.

Touchstones

Touchstones are cultural phenomena that are referenced in the series, shorthanding thematic information about our principal characters. Some of the big ones:

The Clintons
Bill and Hilary Clinton are referenced repeatedly throughout the series by, and for, Patty and Graham. In the pilot, Patty yearns for Secret Service surveillance of Angela. In "Dancing in the Dark," Patty's potential haircut is discussed in terms of Hilary's hair; etc.

The Clintons at this time (pre multi-scandals) were emblematic of a new sort of yuppie existence, and the public circumspection regarding the seat of power in that family is translated easily to the Chases. Here, too, a dominating female seems to tower over her more traditionally-powerful husband. It is quite telling, then, that in "Hallowe'en," while their gender roles have been conveniently traditionalized thanks to their costumes, Patty later lies to Camille and claims that they were dressed as the Clintons - their traditional roles.

Fairy Tales
Fairy tales are used repeatedly, particularly for Patty and Graham. For their marriage, the "fairy tale" version of gender roles are reversed, yet both members of the couple seem to occasionally yearn for a more traditional relationship. Again, in "Hallowe'en," as stated above; or in "Dancing in the Dark," the short sequence involving Patty's Cinderalla doll shattering at Patty and Graham's inability to sort out their new friction.

In "In Dreams Begin Responsibilities," Patty gets the fairy tale treatment once again, and we learn that she frequently dreams about Princess Diana (another figure who, like the Clintons, had become a figurehead of modern family life, as the divorce became final in the early '90s).

Literature
In the pilot episode, it's Anne Frank; in "Resolutions," it's The Odyssey; in "Betrayal," it's Our Town. The series repeatedly makes excellent use of various literary touchstones which inform the episodes in surprsing ways.

Take Anne Frank for example: surely the most prevalent touchstone of the beginning of the show (and the one we all remember), its use is refreshingly original. The book is not approached in a Holocaust context at all, but rather as a personal echo for Angela: the idea of starting over, of life and fate conspiring to radically alter a person's circumstances, resulting in the creation of a new identity. This is what Angela seeks throughout the series - although as she begins to become more confident in her new persona, the use of Anne Frank as a touchstone falls away.

Rickie's identification with The Odyssey is informing, too, given that the lost hero of that story is the father, not the son, yet it is the "son" (Rickie) who seeks the help of the "father" (Mr. Kotimski) in his efforts to get home. Yet in his efforts to help Rickie, Mr. Kotimski moves beyond the normal parameters of what he considers his role - the child is father to the man.

"The Zit" concocts my favourite literary allusion in the series: the use of Kafka's Metamorphosis. The piece gets surprisingly good stead in the episode, as an allegory for Angela's feelings of ugliness, Sharon's feelings about burgeoning womanhood, Brian's feelings of increasing lust, and as usual, Jordan's completely cluelessness about life in general. The resulting four-way conversation in the fourth act is one of the series' funniest scenes.

Conclusion

My So-Called Life is a series that repeatedly pulls its original fans back in for another look. The reasons for this are obvious: as listed above, the series is dimensional in ways that few other television programs have ever been, and moving beyond the simple plots of the episodes, the viewer can find a wealth of codes and structures that reinform the meaning of each episode in new and surprising ways.

In fact, MSCL is one of the few series that seems to constantly "have its cake and eat it too." Specifically, it is able to both fully encompass and convey Angela's worldview, while equally and fairly expressing the opposite point of view (often, her parents'). As such, it is a rich series that can be approached from a number of angles, constantly rewarding its viewer with new levels and meanings even as its characters discover the multitude of dimensions that life often challenges us with.

Bibliography

None particularly other than my own analysis and eight uninterrupted years of MSCL obsession, but interested parties should check out www.MSCL.com, which provided much of the historical information about the production of the show that I reference above.