On the Road – We departed the human-sized Venus flytrap that is Queenstown – we have heard several hundred variations of “I came here X years ago and never left” from every expat Brit, Aussie, Canadian and Scot we’ve come across, but have yet to meet any actual kiwis – and headed south. Queenstown Adventure hostel: A+. All the other guests must’ve thought we were a bunch of far out old men, but the facilities were excellent and – to be fair – we ARE a bunch of far out old men. Good vibe about the place and the showers are kickass, which keeps everyone pleasant. And you can’t fault the view.
Last night before we left and after a leg-punishing morning of horseback riding, Dave and I took one more impromptu hike up a mountain, this one (somewhat hilariously) called the Queenstown Hill, which was described to us as a moderate walk, which should give you a sense of the level the Queenstowners are playing at – because this was a straight 45 degree uphill march, unbroken for 2 hours, through neighbourhoods, then thick green forest, then spooky-ass spider forest, before popping out in a golden crown that would have given Van Gogh on his best day a run for his money, which then ascended even FURTHER to a peak that looked out over the entire gold, blue and green valley. Quite the vista, but boy, I did a number on myself going up and an even bigger number going down, where one’s calf muscles were given the full workout just to keep you from pitching forward to your doom on the vertiginous descent.
I never mind being sore, though. I like souvenirs. On the way up the mountain we passed through a Maori gate which was emblazoned with a plaque proclaiming “this is the path to the future” – which, in no small measure, is the short description of this whole trip. I am on the long roundabout now, having come a very long way to ask the stars a question I already know the answer to.
Halfway up the hill we found a corner of the path that had been decorated with dozens and dozens of piles of small stones. Exhausted, inspired, and drenched with sweat, I dropped to the ground then and there and meditated till my heart rate returned to normal, my energy had bounded back, and my breath was in perfect time with the wind.
Lord of the Rings location check:
The Misty Mountains
Dunharrow
Undisclosed Hobbit 2 or 3 location
Isengard
Some terminology notes:
“Katie” – the fourth person in our hostel dorm room for 2 nights running, who seemed to be asleep in her bed every single time we needed anything from the room, day or night. Example usage: “Who are you, the new Katie?” (in any instance where anyone requires sleep or quiet).
“Meat pie” – the signatory conclusion of any event; the means by which one affirms that something has been completed or accomplished. Example usage: “We just scaled that cliff. So… meat pie?”
“Platter” – none of your business, but I’m on one.
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