Toys 2K16: Report

I turned 40 this year. I mention that only because it’s worth noting that either directly or indirectly, my age drove my toy purchases up – not, I think, in a vain attempt to recapture my youth, but more because as of this year ID(officially)GAF. I make a good keep. I bought a place to live. I started to fill it with shit that genuinely delights me. The best of the best were:

1. Rey & BB-8 (Hot Toys Movie Masterpiece Series #337)

DCIM101GOPRO

Surprising absolutely no one, Rey and the Beebster take the top slot – not just because they were my Twitter avatar all year long, and not just because this is now maybe my favourite Hot Toy of all time. Nope: they also manage to be the state of the art as of now, with rendering and detailing so exacting and alive that we’re into desert-island territory here. When the apocalypse comes, I shall take this dollie, for with to tell the children about the wars of the stars. Her lightsabre doesn’t light (arms too skinny) and I’d argue that Beeb is a solid three or four shades too brown in the oranges, but them’s teensy little quibbles next to the flawless, model-quality beauty of the Daisy Ridley sculpt, or the wild and uncanny internal gyro that keeps BB-8’s head pointing north. Let’s not even address the fact that she basically comes with two complete costumes – as of this writing, I still haven’t tired of her basic look enough to even bother putting on the Scavenger garb. There’s always 2017.

(Update: I tried it. Hot fuck.)

DCIM101GOPRO

 

2. Hermione Granger (Star Ace Toys)

DCIM101GOPRO

Just when I thought my Harry Potter days were behind me, along came this perfect little first-year Emma Watson, and I was straight back in. To underscore the point: the Canadian dollar was such total garbage against the American when this thing shipped that I think I probably paid around 55% more than the American sticker price… and I am just fine with that. She’s great! Her hair is even book-appropriately bushier than the movie Hermione’s! And whether by luck or design, Star Ace was apparently born to absolutely nail 11-year-old Watson’s smarter-than-thou smirk. Their next iteration of the character demonstrates, sadly, that this may have been a one-off; but that’s ok. I got mine.

3. “Wasteland Ranger” i.e. Mad Max (VTS Toys)

DCIM101GOPRO

Bless the unlicensed entrepreneurs of Malaysia. No one was picking up the Fury Road rights for sixth-scale collectibles (or any other toys that I’m aware of, actually), so VTS swooped in and tore the roof off the place with their Wasteland Ranger – an “artistic interpretation” of the exact likeness of Tom Hardy’s Max, and an insanity-making level of detail on his outfit and accessories. I say insanity-making because – as anyone who’s ever collected a military figure before already knows – dealing with this many straps, pouches, buttons, clips, and tiny little velcro pads is nearly enough to make you want to throw the whole fucking thing in the garbage (and, character fondness aside, is the reason Max isn’t sitting at #1). But once you’ve burned half your day getting everything in proper working order, there’s little denying that the resulting figure is impressive as fuck.

4. Doctor Strange (Hot Toys Cosbaby)

DCIM101GOPROI needed another line in on Hot Toys in my life (no, I didn’t), and here come the Cosbabies, a line which I haven’t jumped into previously but which, with my inaugural entry, might supplant Funko Pop! as the super-deformed bobble-head provider du jour. (I can’t believe that’s a sentence I actually wrote.) Funko might have the edge on omnipresence – there is no pop cultural artifact on earth, it seems, that they cannot strip-mine for Pop! figures – but as some grumblings among collectors have also pointed out, they’ve also blasted some more interesting and creative alt-toy manufacturers out of the marketplace entirely. Cosbaby is a much nicer take on the same basic premise; and the materials are much nicer in the hand, and the paint job is, well, Hot Toys. I suspect I will be buying more of these.

Runner up: I quite like the Funko Pop! Daisy Johnson, pictured on Strange’s left. In case you thought this was all ragging on Funko.

5. Jyn Erso (Hasbro – The Black Series, 6″)

DCIM101GOPRO

Hasbro’s offerings for The Force Awakens were so uniformly terrible that I had pretty much given up on them altogether, and I remain deeply ambivalent about their jump to the 6″ scale in the first place… but I gotta admit, their Black Series Jyn (the first toy released, on this year’s Force Friday) is so goddamned great that I might have a few Star Wars figures in me yet. At the wrong scale. Which sucks. But whatever. Jyn here is helped along by a lovely sculpt and a head-and-shoulders better paint job than was afforded Rey a year ago; plus, she looks and feels like an action figure, y’know? Collector scale or not, this one feels like she could get dirty in the back garden and come back ok.

6. Amanda Ripley (NECA Alien Isolation)

DCIM101GOPRO

I think technically this is an end-of-2015 figure, but whatever, I got it this year. (Along with the two Alien3 figures, also pictured; sub them in if you like!) At this point I sort of need to admit I’m an actual fiend for the Alien pressure suits – love the ones from Prometheus, and love the ones from the original film (and its spin-off video game, Alien Isolation) even more. I’ve got several of them in Re-Action scale, and having bought Amanda here, I’m seriously considering dropping the $700 it would cost to get the Hot Toys version of Dallas wearing the suit, too… it just somehow ends up on the top of the pile of my favourite science fiction designs of all time.

Well anyway. Getting Amanda Ripley sort of seemed like it was only a matter of time – I’ve been her, and playing Isolation remains one of the most intense non-movie experiences of my adult life. The toy is great, even if part of her costume popped off the second she was out of the package and needed to be Krazied back on. She’s thick and chunky the way a character wearing this suit should be, and the yellow scheme looks great on the shelf.

7. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Hasbro)

DCIM101GOPRO

I’ve complained about Hasbro’s return to five-point articulation and think their Force Awakens line was pretty much garbage but I have to admit, just like with Jyn above, they stepped up their game for Rogue One in the 3 3/4″ scale as well, and not just among the “Black Series” collector-grade toys. Cassian Andor in his winter gear looks exactly like the kind of action figure I would have played the shit out of when I was a kid (not just because he’s the spitting image of my brother Adam), and Orson Krennic is fucking amazing, for an Imperial muckity muck in a suit. I’m sure there’s a bunch of duds and bangers in the line but it was hard to resist the traditional Star Wars scale this year, just as it is every year.

Honourable Mention: The Vision (Hot Toys Movie Masterpiece #296)

DCIM101GOPRO

I gotta hand it to the Viz here. It was an expensive year for toys, and for Hot Toys in particular, and after cancelling my Scarlet Witch pre-order and then re-ordering her in a fit of pique, I figured I’d make up the difference by selling the Vision, who sort of stuck out at wrong angles in my collection thanks to his very film-accurate otherworldliness: skin-tight body suit, no accessories (OK, Mjolnir), big yella cape. But every time I went to gather his stuff together and put him on eBay, I… couldn’t… do it. I’d find some new way to pose him (the flight mode above is the most recent example) and he’d look so goddamn interesting sitting there on the shelf that I would put off the sale for another month or two… and then the cycle would begin again. I’ve given up: I’m keeping him. He’s great. I wonder if I should get him a cardigan.

All photography mine, all rights reserved, all taken with my GoPro, mostly cuz I was being lazy, and also cuz I like my GoPro which – in its way – also deserves to be on this Toy Of The Year list.