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The Best Bad Movie Ever Made Lookit: making movies is hard, man. You have to be on top of so many things. You have to have a clear vision, and you need to carry it out. You need to construct…
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Review: AVATAR
The dreams of Iron Jim There’s a man who can’t walk, but in his dreams he can stride out into an alien wilderness and run. The man is Jim Cameron, and if he is known to be a tyrant, perhaps…
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Review: HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE
The Ghost Story I’ve given the Harry Potter films an easy ride over the years. Flat raves for the Columbus films (stylistically, they hew closest to the spirit of their respective novels). Warm enthusiasm for films 3 and 5, each sharply told…
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Review: STAR TREK
And on we go. So here we are, at last. Honestly, the (latent? dormant? something) Trekkie in me – the one who, like umpteen million others, found Trek when he was a disenfranchised, too-cerebral adolescent – never thought the Powers…
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The Vivarium of Dr. Tesseract
Dr. Tesseract enters the vivarium. We could imagine that he is Daniel Cockburn, had Daniel never given up cocaine (nor never not started it in the first place), and after 15 further years of apathetic days and earthshaking night terrors.…
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Review: THE DARK KNIGHT
You wanna play a game? Let’s say you had an idea. A kind of “intellectual project,” if you will: you saw a problem, and thought you could design a solution. The problem was a city run rampant with organized crime,…
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Review: INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
“I don’t think he plans that far ahead.”
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Review: THE GOLDEN COMPASS
One ring to rule them compass I feel sorry for The Golden Compass. Of all the fant-lit-to-film gimmes in the half-decade since The Lord of the Rings, Compass is the one which most painfully wants to wear Daddy’s clothes. Its every nook and cranny is…
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Matt’s first tat
OH MY GOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH. OH MY FUCKING GOD I AM SO HAPPY. See? I toldja. 🙂 I am in love. That’s all there is to it. I am in love with my own arm. In my humble…
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Review: LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD
Re-posting this review from 2007, one of my favourites. Somehow, I never mentioned Timothy Olymphant once by name; but, the rest of the piece, I really like.
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